There are so many things I find reprehensible in this world. If you know me, you’ve probably heard me toss this word around quite freely. I enjoy hyperbole as much as the next person, but this word— reprehensible— it means something to me.
More often than not, I do not categorize cheating as reprehensible. Let me tell you why: I’ve experienced far worse betrayal from my partner(s) on a daily basis, I’d almost rather be cheated on. Fuck someone. Please. But come back home and be nice to me. Be emotionally available. Don’t harden your body as I walk by you. Don’t give me dirty looks.
My boyfriend and I do not have compatible sex drives. He can and will go without for months. I can’t.
This isn’t taken seriously, of course. Not by him, or… almost anyone. I struggle to find someone who truly understands this situation, its direness, and how trapped it makes me feel. I am expected to suck it up— but, why? I have some of my own theories, but I don’t really care about them. N/A
I told my boyfriend I cheat in my head all the time. I’ve never seen that look on his face. Shock— anger? I never wanted to see it again. I can’t help but think it’s only fair that he knows what not having sex does to me. It makes me feel crazy.